Chapter 1

Amy sighed dreamily as she watched Sonic slurped up his spaghetti noodles, the fork dropping with a clatter to the empty plate. She had finally gotten him to come to dinner with her. She hadn't even touched her meal, a cold salad with French dressing and croutons, yet she felt full enough on the presence of her Sonickku. She couldn't stretch that fact enough around Blaze, Sally and anyone else. She watched as Sonic's eye twitched with the discomfort of her staring.

How cute…

Sonic's eye twitched again and he snapped his fingers, trying to get the crazed girl's attention. She responded with a question of what? He answered her with the obvious.

"You were staring again." She apologized for her doings though they didn't stop. They instead increased erratically; the waitress that came by rushed off with Sonic and Amy's plate to escape her territorial gaze. Other couples or families left the restaurant, some muttering under the words of the crazy people they have loose these days… Sonic, once again, twitched under her frozen stare, the blare of a cell phone his only savior. He turned away and flipped open the device, moving it up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Sonic!"

"What's up?"

"There's someone who wants to see you right away."

"I'll be right over, bud." He closed his cell and turned to the awaiting pink on the other side of the table, giving a nervous smile, shrugged and ran, quite awkwardly due to his bony structure and baggy tuxedo, hearing the echo of his name from Amy's pink lips.

{Meowtastix}

He hesitated as he reached for the doorknob.

What if it was him?

He shook off his fear and opened the door, stepping in and closing the door behind himself. The room was dark, he turned on the switch beside the door and started his walk to the stairs, ignoring that damned being on the couch. He didn't want any drama. No more pain. No more him. Besides he needed to get to the bathroom anyway.

"Sonic? Is it really you?"

Too late.

Sonic swiveled around to meet his crimson eyes. They seemed different…

He's… sober?

Sonic nodded and prepared for the usual punch he got after he left for a while when they were together but, he got a… hug? Shadow sighed into Sonic's neck and hugged him tighter, Sonic returning his hug. "It's been seven years and I've missed you so." He released the other, a weak smile forced onto his face. "Did you miss me?"

No, you bastard.

"Of course, I did." He forced a smile himself and turned to see Tails, Sally and Blaze at his side.

"Who is this, Sonic?" Tails crossed his arms and the girls did the same, giving off a somewhat dangerous vibe. Shadow moved forward and introduced himself as Sonic's past friend of some kind, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. The girls didn't like him, wondering if he was faking an act. Shadow smiled the whole time, a frown taking over when they left for bed. They had been there the whole time, he was smiling the whole time because they were there though, he was actually sober. Sonic was surprised, though faking his happy act did make him pissed somewhat.

"Why are you here?"

"I want to make amends. I want to see you."

"Is that all?"

"I am here because I still love you." Sonic scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"You should have thought about that seven years ago!" Tears rolled down his muzzle. He sucked in a shaky breath and lowered his head, rage growing in him.

"Sonic, I-"

"GET OUT!" He pointed to the door and looked away, the other scurrying out the door with a slam, Sonic staring at the closed door. He gagged, running to the bathroom and vomiting up his food.

{Meowtastix}

Shadow sat on the chair of his physiatrist's office, twiddling his thumbs together, himself slumped over with his elbows on his knees as the doctor in the corner wrote down information. "I don't know what happened. I told him, I hugged him, I acted nice. I-I- He couldn't get pass our past. He can't get pass it. He can't get pass the abuse." He sighed. "What do I do, Doctor Marshall?"

The doctor quit her writing and put the clipboard on her desk. "Apologize."

"What?"

"Shadow. We have been friends since high school. You let your pride get in the way of the more important things and it ruins you. I have helped you through your drinking, your smoking, heck! I even had the both of you in here when you two had fights. You apologized then, do it now! I can't help you during all your little mishaps but, I can help you now! He needs a heartfelt apology, pronto!"

"I don't feel very… heartfelt right now." The doctor sighed at his response and looked at her timer, informing her and Shadow that their session was over, the patient walking from the room, closing the door and starting down the hallway.

{Meowtastix}

Sonic's eye twitched, he was kneeled in front of a tombstone, a picture the only thing decorating the grave. He looked at the picture, him, Shadow and her after she got her story published in a book, she had only been twelve, killed weeks later. He twitched again. "Why must you twitch when you're nervous?"

"It's a habit." There was an awkward silence between them, Shadow kneeling down beside him. Sonic kept his head down.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." Sonic looked up in awe, his mouth slightly open. "If you must know."

That didn't come out right…

"Of course I want to know! You didn't have to do what you did! You had a choice!" He was now standing, his arms crossed over his chest, Shadow standing with him.

"And what was my choice? What was my choice?"

"Love!" His voice cracked.

Don't cry… I hate it when you cry…

"You had a choice between your love for me or your addiction! You chose the latter!" Sonic started to storm away, Shadow saying something he hadn't expected.

"I'm sorry!" Sonic stopped at turned to him. "I'm sorry." Sonic walked back to him, letting out a shaky sigh.

"What?"

"I said I was sorry. I am sorry. I kept it in all that while. I didn't tell anyone about it. I panicked when you found out and I thought you were going to leave me. I wanted you to stay. You said you were going to leave; I panicked. I wanted you to stay because I love you." Shadow saw that look in Sonic's eyes.

"So you hit me? Abuse me… and our daughter?" Shadow flinched. "I'm sorry but, how can I forgive you? It's like you want me to forget our whole past! The blood, the alcohol, the yelling, the phone call." Tears were coming down his face now, even harder if they hadn't already. "When I got that phone call, my heart broke and we fell apart. You drank more, I developed an eating disorder and I became a cutter. We were no more from that point on; we were just strangers who lived together. We didn't kiss, didn't touch; I ran away from you for a reason! I don't eat that much to this very day! I'm skinny as hell because of the mental damage you left me with so, tell me 'cause I want to know, how do I forgive you and let you back in?" He watched Shadow's mouth open then close. "Do you have any idea on how I do that?" He waited. "Answer me!"

"Let me hug you." This response shocked Sonic further; he had expected reasoning logic, or for the hedgehog to run away, but no, instead he had to say what he said, a offer Sonic would turn down if he didn't need it so badly. Talking about your abusive past made you need a hug once in a while. "Please."

Sonic stared at him long and hard, long enough and hard enough to make him crumble. If they didn't have history. If they hadn't loved each other in the past. If they hadn't had a child together, maybe things would've been different. But they had happen and Shadow knew exactly how to bring him down.

"Nikkie would have wanted it. For us to make amends, I mean."

//"Shadice Nicole Robotnik, you come back here and apologize!" A black and blue hedgehog peered from the bushes with red and green speckled eyes. She was in trouble. And a lot of it. "Come here now!" She skated across the lawn and skidded to a stop in front of her mother, staring up into his angry, emerald eyes. "Who drew in marker on the wall?"

"Daddy did. He want to make you mad at me." Sonic looked at her in disbelief, thinking over what he should do.

"Okay then, Nikkie. I'll go ask Daddy 'bout it." He turned, only to hear the little girl's plea before he went inside.

"Make happy with Daddy, Mommy. Don't go to bed sad."//

Sonic stared at Shadow in disbelief.

How dare he provoke such a memory!

He bit his bottom lip, moving his hand to grab onto Shadow's gloved one. He was tired of running, even if it was one of his greatest features. He knew Shadow would find him sooner or later as he had now. He was tired of living in fear of the past and running in sight of cruel memories. He was tired. Tired of the nightmares. Tired of the constant vomiting. He could only fit into women's clothing he was so thin. He had changed in the most negative of ways.

"…okay…" He smiled a weak smile, wobbling forward and leaning into Shadow's body, breathing in his musk and gripping at his shoulders in desperation. Shadow put his arms around him and hugged him tighter, putting his chin in the soft bed of Sonic's quills and breathing in. It wasn't musk, it was sweeter. He had almost forgotten the smell.

He had done bad enough to lose this. Now he was trying his hardest to get it back. They used to do this everyday, until those last few years. Then the Sonic he had known had disappeared. Emotionally, mentally, and physical. He loved this body. He had loved his family. He still did.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

{Meowtastix}

"I love you."

"I love you, too… amant doux." Sonic nuzzled deeper into Shadow's shoulder, both of them laying against Shadice's tombstone. "Do you feel any guilt for having sex in a graveyard?"

"Nikkie will be happy to know that Mommy and Daddy have made amends."