Tails was a good party host. Why? Because he fell asleep at nine o’clock on the dot, regardless of what or whomever was around. And you’d think that said foxy genius would register somewhere in his realatively big genius mind that he dropped into a coma at nine o'clock, but he was oblivious to that small detail.

And if Tails had good, law-abiding citizens for friends, they would quietly clean up his party, pat him on the head, and go home.

Alas, poor Tails had mild mannered blue hedgehogs and startlingly gullible echidnas for friends. And neither of the two was ‘law-abiding’ when it came to parties.

Which, of course, left one smug Sonic the Hedgehog.

You’d be smug too, if you knew Shadow’s deepest, darkest secret.

You probably think it’s an addiction to marshmellows. Or maybe deep inside Shadow’s in love with –gasp— sunshine and rainbows. Or— dare I speak it— Shadow doesn’t enjoy kicking kittens, and he’s collecting money for UNICEF.

But you’re thinking wrong. Because Shadow’s deepest, darkest secret is that he’s a drunken master.

Of poetry.
~~

Shadow had refused at least twenty drinks, but Sonic was determined to win Shadow over eventually. After all, he had to check and see if his theory was true! “C’mon Shads…” He fake slurred. Fortunately for Sonic, his alcohol tolerance was pretty high, unlike Knuckles, who was wasted almost promptly after yelling, “Bring on the booze!” since he drank like some sort of evil drinking machine.

“No.” Shadow said, none too sweetly. He crossed his arms and sunk back into the couch. Sonic jumped into his lap and shifted, making himself comfortable. Shadow looked like he was going to murder him, but Sonic waved the glass in front of him, grinning stupidly.

“Jus’ oneeeee teeny weeny drink?” Sonic nuzzled Shadow’s arm and Shadow jerked away from him.

“No.”

“C’mon, Shads… izit ‘coz you’re a wuss? A wussy wuss?”

“Hn.”

“Izit? Shads is a wuss, a wussy wussy wuss…” Sonic sang. “’ey! Sing with me, Shads!” Shadow practically flung Sonic into a wall. Fortunately Sonic just landed on his butt on the floor. “…S’not cool Shads!!” Sonic complained. The drink he had just been holding spilled, but there were millions more on the coffee table, to Sonic’s pleasure.

“I’m leaving.” Shadow muttered, and Sonic latched onto his legs.

“No! You can’t go! Th’ world’s a big place, we might not see each other again!” Shadow tried to kick him off, but Sonic stuck like a leech.

“We live in the same apartment complex, you imbecile.”

“Ya know…” Sonic shook his head at Shadow, “One drink would make ya feel all better again!”

“I don’t drink.”

“Sure ya do, Shads!” Sonic grinned and tugged Shadow to the floor, amid struggling and curses. He straddled the ruby eyed hog quickly, making sure to pin down his arms (because who knew what Shadow could do to do to Sonic with those if he could lift up freaking buses?) and grinned down at him. “Ya jus’ need ta be wit’ th’ right company,” Sonic continued, as if he were the guru of drinking.

“Get the hell off of me.”

“Ssh, Shads.” Sonic said, grinning again. He reached for a drink on the table. “Here!” He sang cheerfully holding out a beer.

“I said get off!” Shadow struggled. Sonic grinned and ignored him.

“I’ll help ya, okay!” He said cheerfully, pinching Shadow’s nose. “I know… sometimes s’hard ta start all by yourself,” He babbled. “So I’ma help ya, ‘coz I’m your bud~dy!”

Shadow just opened his mouth to take in air, which was when Sonic practically drowned him in alcohol, remembering to lift up Shadow’s head so he could swallow. Shadow spluttered and cursed, and basically sat through the same treatment sixteen or seventeen times before loosening up.

Sonic grinned when Shadow finally stopped struggling and finally got off of Shadow, eyeing him warily. “Shadow?” He asked, quietly, and Shadow looked at him, growing slightly angry, but too inebriated to do much about it.

“You…you wasn’t drunk.” Shadow muttered, glaring ineffectively at Sonic.

“Not at all.” Sonic said cheerfully. “Beer?”

“Nuh-uh… you’re no fair.” Shadow hiccupped and then giggled. Sonic had to do a double take when he heard that. Shadow? Giggle? Oh yes, this was rich… Sonic was enjoying this. “Hehe… beer, fair, they both say air.”

Sonic grinned. “You like to rhyme?”

“Some of the time.” Shadow giggled again and reached for some drink on the table. Sonic passed it to him, grinning like an idiot again.

“Do you write poetry?”

“I ain’t tellin’ joo…” Shadow whined, “’coz you fooled me through and through.”

Sonic snickered. “I guess I did. Sorry.”

Shadow hiccupped and grew serious. “Maa… if I tell you one, buy me calamari.” Sonic could only snicker and nod, and Shadow, looking rather pleased with himself, downed his next drink and crooned, “Th’ world’s piano plays a mel-o-dy, an’ we jus’ sing in har-mon-y, ‘coz th’ drunken woman dances when th’ world takes s’chances… they play wit’ a broken chord wit’ calamari as a reward an’ the bird an’ bees go by makin’ patterns in the sky.” Shadow stopped here and took another drink. “S’it, I’m done, can’t think of no more… I think I’ma pass out right here on th’ floor.”

Sonic laughed. “This was interesting.” He grinned widely.

Shadow’s look became sinister. “Che… lemme tell you somethin’” He slurred. “You tell anyone what happened here today… I’ll do worse than kill you… you’ll prolly be flayed.”

Sonic sniggered. “Far be it from me to tell your darkest secret.”

Shadow laughed like he normally did (evilly) and jumped on Sonic suddenly, straddling him down. “Guess what I heard, Sonic?” He chuckled, while Sonic looked absolutely confused.

“Uh… hey! You aren’t drunk!” Sonic managed.

“Not at all.” Shadow mocked. “And I heard that when you really get drunk, you like to wear women’s clothing. Want to test my theory?”

“Ah, Shadow! It was a joke! Ha ha, right buddy? C’mon! Laugh with— ah!”
--

Owari.

As a side note… I don’t know where I got that poem from. So… uh… ^_^’’ yeah.