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qzz

You dare omnomnom this review and I will personally pull you through the internet into - horror of horrors! - a Samy story. Are you understanding this promise I'm making to you?

Now, aside from the massive spaces between paragraphs/lines, this isn't bad. But I would suggest that you stop quadruple spacing. It's unnessecary waste of space. As for your lack of a beta reader, I would be happy to help. Once I figure out how to get my profile to actually save, that is. In the mean time, here's my e-mail, send me the next chapter, 'kay? tsunami11@live.com

Sen'Tzu, Being of Darkness and Light, Willing to Beta Just About Anything.

Author's Response:

Ha, yeah... I really didn't quadriple space the chapter. It just sort of happened once I uploaded the chapter. It looked fine on the preview section, I don't know what happened.

Wow, this story is... addicting... interesting... brilliant... and, well, other pleasant, polysyllabic words that serve to praise and flatter!

Great dialogue, fluid structure, a few minor grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing to go crazy over--a solid, [un]original villain that you just love to hate--an intriguing and humorous story that sucks you in mercilessly--and, of course, soon-to-be Sonadow awesomeness--yup, this story has it all. And it's only the beginning!

Oh, and I like the chapter titles' whole video game menu screen theme. Can't wait for the next update!