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Anything I have to say, the others already said. The big problem is the narration. It is generally a bad idea to switch character POV mid-chapter, as it breaks the flow of the story. Either stick with one character, or tell the story from a third-person perspective.

I also like to add your chapters are incredibly short. It may be a good idea to add a bit more meat into your chapters.

A couple points of criticism:

1) The constant switching of the narrater made it difficult at times to understand who was thinking or doing what. Try sticking with one narrater or tell the story from a third person perspective.

2) Grammar is somewhat of an issue.  I'd be happy to read over your chapters before you post them and fix any of the mistakes I find.

3) Keep writing! I like the demeanor you've given both hedgehogs. My favorite part was Shadow shooting at and cursing the alarm. Oh and...

4) As I was told when I first posted, most people give speech a whole sperate line. It makes it easier to tell who's talking.

Again, I'd always be happy to proof read your work. Just let me know if I can ever help!