Sonic, stop being bad. (Just kiddin'.) XD Any who, nice work. Good story, I'd say. You've improved tremendously. This is an interesting mystery, no doubt. Not quite as interesting as Sherlock Holmes or anything, but interesting nonetheless. Keep it up, uh...buddette, since you don't like being called bud. XD Only suggestion is the page breaks. Don't make them so huge. One or two is sufficient. ^^

hmmmmmmmmm this caught my eye seems really good so far please continue =3